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A Phoenix Fiction Writer Rising From The Ashes of Nonfiction



Poem Introduction

I wrote this just before I graduated in college and is largely autobiographical. It came to me almost as a premonition.

Even since, it has bothered me. After my son was born I even had a tree cut down in our yard when it dropped a large limb.

I don't really believe in premonitions but this poem still haunts me.

(revised 12/3/2015)



The Icy Blast OLonely 

In the springtime of our meeting
Infatuation painted golden smiles
On everything we did and rainy days
Were excuses to play together in bed
Tingling fire warmed our every greeting

We summered in each other's arms
Long days and nights spent together
Hot days slipping into the glove of night
Cold-light moon spying on our passions' breath
We had laughter and intimate discoveries

Fall came and evergreen love
Turned dry yellow and fell away
For reasons still mysterious to me
Breezes blew away our dreams
Our love just seemed to fall away

Winter came in icy blasts of lonely
Hollow days howling to the draft
(like empty vessels resonating)
The icicle dreariness of day to day
Hanging silent over everything and yet

A springtime of another meeting
Songs again raised the morning
Bubbly life spurted forth on our minds
Chortling along intimate tickles and breaths
A different you, a different year, we let

The summer days provide the warmth
For carefree romps in each other's life
Twining hours together in braids of exultation
Fascination gobbled up each other's quirks
We braided vines of attachment but

Forgot to put down firm roots for fall
Soon the braided vines died and shredded
Quirks were overhunted into extinction
We separated like migrating birds
Of different species, each went our way

Winter blew drifts of frozen memories
Around the vacant fields in our hearts
We tried again to reunite, an Indian Summer,
But, discord blotted out the sun of love
Ardor grew cold in tomorrow's darkness

Another year, another spring, another you
The thaw became a new life with
New sounds and new golden mornings
Of sun erupting in the east
Leading us into the fields of

Summer raised roses, flowers, ferns
Springs became creeks of cool caresses
Among the hot lusty gusts of passion
Exploring the realm of awakened ardor
Summer waned but we hardly noticed

Fall continued in warmth and splendor
Grasses stayed gesturing at green leaves
Above them as the tree of life continued
To produce the succulent fruit of love
Even as the summer stars disappeared and

Winter constellations rose with minor spats
But still the days were mostly warm
Summer, it seemed, would never end
Then the blizzard struck with death
And ice sheets paralyzed the soul

Spring was a long time coming,
Long enough for glaciers to form
As grief failed to thaw for years
Still the thaw came and the glaciers'
Melting left great pools of need so that

Summer saw fields of flowers flourishing
The mind a vibrant buzz of insect thoughts
Supporting herds of great devotions
That sent the summer even through cycles
But the equinox soon prevailed

Glacier puddles ringed with yellowed dreams
Fall signaled once again and the great devotions
Fell among the wilting flowers of good intentions
Were feasted upon by clouds of insect thoughts
In the end the fields and bones were barren as

Winter's grip secured its hold upon the mind
Despair and frustration hailing optimistic emotions
Icy blasts of lonely blowing drifts of memories
Through hollow days howling like resonating vessels
Almost reluctantly it softened slowly giving way to

Springtime once again, in a different age
With a different you, and the sap of attachment
Flowed again as our meadows of delights
Breathed the sky of beckoning tomorrows
We together had laughter and warmth

Summer came upon us with its joy and happiness
Sprouting luscious forbidden fruit spiced with
Fermented actions distilled from our pasts
And each day left a marble pillar in our lives
So that as the summer waned and

Fall began to augur ominous advents
We took the pillars and made a magnificent
House in glorified fortification: a citadel
Of marriage against the ravages of time
Where with much pomp we retired as

Winter grew in massive clouds on the horizon
That formed a mighty army to siege our mutual bond
Thunderclaps of discord and sheets of rain-like ire
Lashed our sturdy castle in the ensuing winters
We managed inside to survive, for there were

Spring times, too, with great hilly carpets of flowers
And tingling brooks of successful endeavors nurtured
Days of blissful calm and gamboling concupiscence
We pampered pedigreed progeny and added pillars
To the house that held its own during the

Summer times that also graced our years
And though antipathetic cactus patches
Marred the natural fields there were
Sufficient sympathetic gardens and
Empathetic flowerbeds to harvest through

The fall, that always gave us warning
Of impending days of gloom
So we safely entered our castle
To endure the natural strains of sanity
That plagues the life of any pair, but

Winter's fury was not alone in depredations
A far away gnash of continental cataclysms
Sent tremors through our lives and brought the pillars
Tumbling among us to fall upon our son
And simultaneously crush our bond so that

Winter, doubly hard, rained real tears upon us
And in fighting the drifts of memories
We built a wall between us that froze our hearts
So that even the icy blasts of lonely
Could not blow us together and one day

A distant spring found us far apart with different you's
Bubbly life spurted forth on a bedrock mind
Babbled among meaningless tickles and moans.
Flowered fields were paved with expedience
And staid walks in the countryside even in

Summer didn't serve to raise the fragrances
That once wafted naturally through my soul
Days were mild and seemed somewhat shorter
Than I remembered them in my youth
Maybe this was merciful, to ease the shock of

Fall entering in a short wind swirled dance
Of yellowed dreams that fell away just as mysteriously
Though it no longer puzzles me: I just accept it
Only now I rake away dreams myself
And then sit out in the cool night's foreshadowing

Winter's merciless icy blasts of lonely
That blow drifts of memories all around me
Numbing me in icy chills that shiver me so
My own chattering masks the howl, numbing me
Until the certainty of no more springs overpowers me.


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